Tuesday November 24, 2009insight on small groups
Tim Scorer
This edition of i n s i g h t comes with an online audio-visual resource. At the launch of The Spirituality of Sex
on October 14 in Vancouver, BC, the four contributing authors came together and spoke about their writing of the book and the impact this had on them. Video clips from the conversation have been selected to be used as a catalyst for conversation in other groups that are beginning to explore the spirituality of sex. Following are the three topic areas and some questions for discussion.
1. Insights
The four authors each name an area of awareness that came as a result of their writing process.
Listen to the following seven minutes of conversation and then use the questions that follow as a guide for reflection and conversation.
Charlotte Jackson - watch video clip>>
Michael Schwartzentruber - watch video clip>>
Mary Millerd - watch video clip>>
Lois Huey-Heck - watch video clip>>
Questions for discussion:
- As you listened to the four authors, where did you find one or two of them making a clear connection with your own experience and belief?
- Listening to the four authors might have generated some questions and curiosity in you. What is one topic in the book that you might choose to explore further?
2. From Shadow into Light
Three of the authors are joined by Meg Hickling, a renowned sex educator living in Vancouver B.C. They reflect on the way that the separation of sexuality and spirituality has so often led to unhealthy expressions of something that is actually profoundly beautiful and sublime. Listen to the following five minutes of video and then use the questions that follow as a guide for reflection and conversation.
Lois Huey-Heck - watch video clip>>
Charlotte Jackson - watch video clip>>
Meg Hickling - watch video clip>>
Mary Millerd - watch video clip>>
Questions for discussion:
- These authors all refer to the shadow side of human sexuality and they do so with obvious emotional concern. Which expression particularly connected with your own concerns?
- The authors balance their presentation of the shadow side with reference to the light. What hope do you feel in listening to them individually and collectively? What sources of hope for healthy expressions of human sexuality do you find in your own community?
3. What Next?
As people of hope and vision, the four authors all speak clearly about what they see as next steps beyond their contributions to this book. Listen to the following clips and then use the questions below as catalysts for helping you to shape your own intentions.
Lois Huey-Heck - watch video clip>>
Charlotte Jackson - watch video clip>>
Mary Millerd - watch video clip>>
Michael Schwartzentruber - watch video clip>>
Questions for discussion:
- What possibilities do these four authors inspire in you?
- What topics in the book might you turn to as you actively pursue your own journey in the spirituality of sex?
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insight on spirit-centred leadership
Tim Scorer
The excerpts from the panel discussion can also be used as a resource for reflection on spirit-centred leadership. When the four authors met in front of an audience to discuss their participation in the creation of the book, they were exercising their spirit-centred leadership in a powerful way. “Leading-from-within” embraces many qualities or characteristics, some of which may be evident in the panelists.
Leading from within is not a vague generalized idea. It really is a specific way of being in leadership. The practices listed below (I have identified ten essential practices here, although there are more) when taken intentionally and regularly will open the door to spirit-centred leadership. These practices have the potential to change an individual for life.
People who lead from within:
Take the time they need to centre themselves before speaking or acting.
Stay connected to the purpose behind whatever they are doing.
Verbalize their feelings, either aloud or just to themselves, so that they know what the feelings are and can communicate them appropriately.
Reconnect intentionally to sources of energy as they need to. Sources of energy would include such things as a powerful positive memory, a piece of music, an inspiring image or object, a person who has made a difference to them, an affirmation they have received from another person or group, and so on.
Let go and leave behind what they no longer need. They understand that this is often a lengthy process that can involve at least three steps: loosening one's grip, letting go, and leaving behind.
Check their bodies for such things as tension pain or ache, shallow breathing, increased heart rate, and sweating. They think of their bodies as instruments from which they can take a reading to hear themselves in important ways.
Recognize the sacred in everything, including the other.
Listen to the voice of intuition in themselves.
Choose thoughtfully the level of self-disclosure they wish to make. We disclose ourselves in many ways, some of which, like body language, we are not aware of. However, there are numerous moments in a day when we make choices, conscious and unconscious, about how much to disclose of our own internal processes. Over time we become skilled at doing this effectively, creatively and with integrity.
Practice an open heart. You know your heart is closed when the world looks dull and ordinary, when you feel grumpy and self-preoccupied and when the critical voice is strong in your head. When your heart is open you are alive to wonder, you feel profound gratitude, you feel the suffering and pain of the world, and you respond to it.
For reflection and discussion:
1. As you view the excerpts watch for these qualities of leadership.
2. Which of these qualities seem familiar to you from your own practice of leadership?
3. Which of these qualities would you like to intentionally develop? In what specific circumstances of your life could you go about doing that?
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insight on spiritual practice: An Erotic Cosmology
Lois Huey-Heck
In the conclusion to The Spirituality of Sex, Michael Schwartzentruber writes, “…the best hope we have of healing the planet, the environment, and even the deep rifts that divide the human family, lies in our ability and willingness to recover a truly erotic sensibility. Eros is all about the connection between beings and the desire for that connection. Today perhaps we should say it’s all about the desire for re
-connection, for re-union.”
Preparing
You’ll just need a Bible or Bibles, your curiosity, and some time.
The Invitation
Read and re-read The Song of Songs. Start by reading the whole book – it’s only eight short chapters. Read with your curiosity fully engaged. Read it in more than one translation if possible. Read it without commentaries.
Start to note the words/phrases/passages that draw your attention. What inspires and attracts you and what, if anything, troubles or repulses you? Focus on those passages and commit to reading them prayerfully, perhaps every day for a week (or longer), or every Sabbath day for a month (or a lifetime). Watch particularly for places of connection (comfort) and disconnection (unease) with the erotic union that’s celebrated in this book of the Bible. You may read The Song of Songs
as metaphor for our relationship with God. You may read it as an erotic love story that celebrates the sexuality that gave us life and animates our living. Either way, it’s a canonical text that contributes a unique understanding of the Holy.
What does this erotic text reveal to you about the nature of God? Can you accept “lover” as a face of God? And if yes, how might that change your relationships and how you live in your body and in the web of creation?
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insight on authors
Ellen Turnbull
The authors of The Spirituality of Sex recently met with Tim Scorer in Vancouver, BC to discuss how the writing of the book affected them and what their next steps might be. Parts of that conversation are linked to in Tim’s article "insight on small groups".
One thing that authors Mike Schwartzentruber, Mary Millerd, Charlotte Jackson, and Lois Huey-Heck have in common is their commitment to embodied spirituality. Mary speaks to this in this clip from the interview. Watch video clip>>
Lois discovered that she manifested this embodiment visually, organizing and expressing her work in colour and form. Watch video clip>>
Tim also asked the authors what curiosity they had about one another. Charlotte confesses: Have you told your parents?! Watch video clip>>
Michael Schwartzentruber is President of Wood Lake Publishing and was for many years the company’s editorial director. He has spent much of his life reflecting on the role of sex and sexuality in the spiritual life.
Mary Millerd is a spiritual director and teacher of spiritual formation and energy awareness to individuals, couples, and groups. She integrates her education and training in Family Systems Therapy, Bodynamics Shock Trauma Training, Somatic Psychotherapy and Family Systems Therapy into her practice.
Charlotte Jackson divides her time between trauma counseling in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside and her private practice where she works with couples and individuals addressing relationship issues. She has been interested in the topic of sexuality for many years, especially as it pertains to intimacy, self-expression, and its intersection with the spiritual realm.
Lois Huey-Heck is a spiritual director, retreat leader/group facilitator, author, and visual artist. She has an abiding belief in the inherent sacredness of the body and all creations, and in the symbiotic relationship between sexuality and spirituality informs much of her art, writing, and research.
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